Hi, i’m someone who believes in fairytales and well, i would be lying if i said i don’t. The truth is i’ve seen Alot of stuff happening in my life. By everything i mean everything in general. Family shits, trauma, friendship breakups, academic fall, breakups, And well i would say it changed me entirely, would u believe me if i start telling u everything in details, It would take me a decade to be very honest. I was in every sort of situation from wanting everything to end to i think i wanna live life, Between “what-ifs” and “Almost”. so, yes when i see this was a hell of a ride from 8 years till 20 years till now. i'm a difficult kid from the start not the perfect kid either just trying and going with the flow. you know i don't even know what i want in life.

Maybe because it was never about me i was influenced so easily that i forgot my own identity, i sometimes sit and really wonder who am i.

Everything was perfect until?

until everyone showed their true colours. i was someone who liked the idea of making friends and always thought elders could never be wrong, but man even a caterpillar sheds and turns out to be something else

learned from the scratch again, i was so inspired with high school love stories and shit and trust me i have been through that shitty path, i would highly recommend u don’t do that ever. Focus on yourself at the end no one shows up but your family.

Friends?

that’s a topic i’ll avoid because Everytime i trusted someone showed them the most fragile parts of me sure they wouldn’t use that poisonous knife directly there. Guess what happened? they did. Everyone, EVERY SINGLE-ONE of them. i was so wounded but i didn’t give up. I thought maybe if i search for love i’ll be somewhere, i had the heart where if i see u struggling i wouldn’t say a word so u don’t have to worry, i turned to be stone-hearted and Avoidant the things which made me the happiest and suddenly i lost interest in everything. Then in 2022, in March i lost my father and i think it actually shifted something inside me i changed overall, Life wasn’t the same anymore i was depressed for years. While managing my final school years. I Didn’t make it through had to try again it made me question if i was staying alive for. I saw how my mother Struggled, Financially, Health-wise, Atmosphere, Infront of every kind of people, Good or Bad. Worse or Kind. She didn’t just raised me alone, i’ve two younger sisters she raised them too. She never enjoyed life. Marriage wasn’t her choice, Kids weren’t her choice. She sacrificed everything just to give us everything. We have seen so many eye opening Scenerio’s which was less shocking more disappointing. Everyone abandoned us and we were on our own. We’ve seen everything together and came so far. Honestly things were so bad i wanted it to finish. With holding all that i swore i would never trust a soul. No one absolutely. I swore i’ll protect my mom. We grew closer. Then i got changed even more attitude toxic traits hurting people was like a game to me. Not that i wanted it to be like that